


Love It If We Made It

by dustysadderdaze



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-20
Updated: 2019-06-20
Packaged: 2020-05-15 14:12:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19297363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dustysadderdaze/pseuds/dustysadderdaze
Summary: It always puts a damper on things when you realize you have feelings for your best friend, doesn't it? Kim Doyoung learns this the hard way.





	Love It If We Made It

Love It If We Made It

5/29/19

 

It wasn't easy. Coming to the realization that you were falling in love, face first, with your best friend. Kim Doyoung laid awake at night, thoughts of Jung Jaehyun, his best friend for nearly two decades, circling around his head like vultures that wanted to eat him alive. God, it was so cliche. He'd spend days and hours and late nights with that kid. Jaehyun was the… popular, naturally athletic, ladies man that EVERYONE had mad crushes on. Doyoung was the opposite. Kept his friend circle extremely tight, kept to himself, a bookworm. It wasn’t that he wasn’t running with the same crowd, it’s that he sometimes kept SOME distance. The picture perfect definition of cliche.

It was truly unfortunate when Doyoung came to the startling realization that he was head over heels for him. It'd been...so random. He was running hair dye through Jaehyun's healthy hair (he didn't understand how he kept it like that), dye brush poised in his deft fingers, laughing at whatever joke the sandy blonde was making this time around. It wasn't until they made direct eye contact in the mirror with each other, singing along to some dumb 2000's song, that Doyoung felt that unfamiliar butterfly sensation deep in his gut. It wasn't something he'd...well, really ever felt with anyone. But he knew, by the textbook version of things, this was what a crush was. 

He kept his face wiped of anything that might alert Jaehyun to the inner confusion boiling inside of his best friend and just continued to smile warmly down at him. Eventually, he put the bowl of color back down on the counter and took a step back, carefully pulling off his gloves, "Don't get the temptation to mess with your scalp, or I'll shave you bald, Jung Jaehyun," he quipped, blatantly ignoring the eye roll the other gave him.

"Kim Dongyoung. You wouldn't have the balls to do that," came the snarky reply in that beautiful honey voice of his that had everyone, quite literally everyone, wrapped around his index finger. There was no denying that everyone was whipped for him.

“Yeah?” he raised his eyebrows in unamusement, grabbing an electric razor from the first drawer beneath the sink. “Try me. You know damn well I’d do it purely out of spite.” His companion didn’t need to know that there were no batteries currently stored inside.

And yet, Jaehyun just smiled, eyes turning into little crescents, delight written all over his face. God, his entire being just had to be...perfect, didn’t it? Doyoung shook his head- he’d think about that later, when he went home to shed the stress of his day. 

Nine in the evening rolled around, and they’d just parted. Jaehyun’s locks were a warm pink shade- Doyoungie had to stop himself from cooing over just how well the color suited him. The color closely resembled cherry blossoms in bloom and it complimented his easily provoked blushy skin. His phone buzzed subtly inside his front pocket, and he didn't need a seventh sense to know who it was from. Lo and behold, he was right. It was a selfie from Jae, smile bright, peace sign gently posed on his cheek, with an accompanying caption, "loving the new color, thanks, Doie 💜 make sure to eat some food before you go to bed tonight!"

His lips twitched up subconsciously as his fingers glided across the screen, “I’m glad you enjoy it; make sure to show it off tomorrow. Stop trying to mother me, get some sleep.” And with that, he turned his phone on Do Not Disturb and put it on his bedside table.

Did he really think he was going to get a good eight hours of sleep tonight? God no. And it wasn’t because of his late night working roommate Taeyong tiptoeing in through the front door at three in the morning. It was because every single time he let his eyes rest. Memories of his friendship with Jaehyun flashed by. God, he’d known that kid for almost two decades now. That was crazy to him. It’d happened in first grade. Doyoung was getting told off by someone who didn’t know what they were talking about and Jaehyun had enough of it. He didn’t like the look of hurt on the other’s face, and so, stood up and shut the other person down. Since then, the two of them had been inseparable. Through all twelve years of school and now college. 

Doyoung knew there was always something different about the way he felt about his best friend. There was so much compatibility between them but he never said anything because that's his best friend. So he always pushed his feelings aside and didn't really..think about it. He thought about all the amazing memories they had. The night of senior graduation, after they had enough of the party, they ran to Jaehyun's car and took off. No plan in mind. Snacks sitting in the backseat, soft music playing on the stereo (Doyoung's phone was hooked up to it), blankets ready to be grabbed from the trunk. 

They'd gone to the beach and held their own bonfire. Jaehyun's Bluetooth speaker sitting on top of the snack backpack, they stood at ankle level in the water, watching the night go by. It didn't matter that it was cold. The breeze was decent. And they didn't feel the need to say anything. Just smiled and shook their heads, chuckling. What a wild four years of high school that had been.

They'd stayed out until six in the morning, Doie curled up underneath his thin hoodie (he was too stubborn to accept Jaehyun's), eyes half lidded as he struggled to stay awake. "C'mon, Doie. Let's get you home. I'll drop you off and explain to your mom that I kept you safe," Jae winked and helped him towards the car, basically carrying him at that point.

Or that time Jaehyun had shown up at his place at one in the morning, pelting a stuffed animal at his window (they'd learned the hard way to not throw rocks anymore) until the other woke up. Where'd they'd gone? The old fashioned, 50's themed diner that looked like something straight out of Grease. Jae ordered them both milkshakes, ignoring the muttered "we shouldn't be eating this late at night" and proceeded to talk to him about the most random things. They bounced off each other like that. It didn't matter what they talked about, as long as they were with each other.

Doyoung shook his head as it hit the comfortable pillow beneath it, running a hand over his face. He knew it was going to come out eventually. But he didn't know when.

He lasted about a month before it all came tumbling down. Jaehyun had started hanging out around their friend Johnny a lot more and therefore, the other distanced himself a bit. It was...weird, seeing those two so close. Doyoung wasn't jealous...was he? He had never experienced that emotion before so he wasn't quite sure how to comprehend it. All he knew was that he...missed his best friend. Except he did the exact opposite and separated himself from the relationship.

He knew he wasn't being rational, not at all. And he wasn't angry at his long time friend, no. He just...he was more than confused with the way he felt.

Doyoung was sitting on his dorm floor, economics book propped precariously on one knee, his notepad somehow being balanced on top of it, black ink pen held in between his teeth- that was, before his front door was being opened. It was eight in the evening- Taeyong wouldn't be getting home, and his other close friend Kun wasn't even in town, as he was visiting family. So that could only mean one person.

"Doyoung!" That familiar voice that made his insides melt- when did he become so whipped?- and footsteps behind him. Doyoung sighed softly. 

"Hi, Jaehyun," came the short reply as he closed his thick textbook, laying his notes next to it and he stood up. The thing is, he wasn't...really looking at his best friend. He couldn't. Those dimples would make their appearance and it'd be completely over for him.

"Ready for our monthly movie marathon? I brought-" but Jaehyun didn't tell him what he brought. Instead, he went quiet and just looked at him. Analyzing. Trying to figure out what was going through his head. God, how could Doyoung could have forgotten? They'd been doing monthly movie marathons for the past...he didn't even KNOW how long. He had to come up with an excuse, and fast.

"Something's wrong," was all Jaehyun said, concern written across his gaze.

Doyoung shook his head, trying not to let his emotions betray him. "Nah, I just. I got a lot of homework to do, you know, exam season. We can...reschedule."

He was being childish. There was no way around that fact. This wasn't middle school where everything was a game. But even still, he turned away from him to head into his kitchen, even as Jaehyun stared at him and replied, sounding subtly nervous, "did I do something wrong? You've been pushing me away lately."

Doyoung scoffed half-heartedly as if he was being silly. "I don't know what you mean, Jae. I've just been busy. You've been busy with music and I...well, you know."

But Jaehyun read right through it, and knew best how to undermine his guard. "Doyoungie. You can tell me anything. I know there's something you haven't been telling me, and that it's been going on for a while."

That silenced the shorter male, and fear ran through him. He should have known that he wasn't going to get far with this act. And suddenly his skin was crawling, "I'm fine. I need to get back to study-" his patience was ran thin, and he didn't know why.

"Doyoung, cut the-"

"I love you, okay?" He snapped, blood rushing to his head quicker than letting his thoughts make sense.

Jaehyun looked at him in surprise, plush lips parting. The cogs in his head turned like clockwork, trying to piece things together. "I...love you too, Doie," it was slow, filled with confusion. "I thought you knew that." He didn't get it. 

He inhaled deeply through his nose, but that didn't help anything. "No, Jaehyun...I love you. Okay? I have feelings for you, you stupid ass idiot. And I've been distancing myself because I didn't know how to fucking deal with it." He was never one to swear unless on occasion, but his mouth was running faster than his brain.

He knew he'd fucked up. And was about to make it worse. "Get out," he mumbled. Jaehyun stared at him, furrowing his eyebrows. "Get out, I have shit to do." He repeated himself. The words felt poisonous on his tongue.

He pretended not to see the look of hurt written all over his movie star handsome face as he left, the sound of the door shutting quietly sounding all too loud. He knew too well that that face would keep him up for the days to come.

A month passed. He tried to occupy himself- went out with Taeil, Kun, and Ten whenever he didn't have his nose buried inside of a book, tried picking up new hobbies. But nothing helped. He found himself missing the presence of his best friend. He never really...realized what an anchor he was in his life, until this happened.

He found himself a lot more vulnerable to things and that shocked him. He hadn't been emotionally sensitive since he was very young. He also had to hold himself back from calling Jaehyun up at any point of the day, forcing his phone back into his pocket.

He didn't need to wait for that long, however. On the last day of the semester, there was a knock on the front door, and he cautiously answered it. He didn't have any plans with anyone…

And there he was. His best friend. Backpack slung over one shoulder, faded pink hair falling casually over his pretty eyes- he was wearing blue contacts today, his favourites. "Come on. I know you're...mad at me for whatever reason, but. Please-" it sounded like he was going to keep pleading with him.

"Okay." He barely felt his lips moving around the word before he was slipping on his shoes, grabbing his essentials and following him out to his car. 

The drive was silent, except for whatever music Jaehyun was playing very quietly. Tension was tight. 

Doyoung didn't even realize he dozed off until he felt the car pull to a stop and his eyes slid open. He could feel his heart drop into his stomach. They were at the beach. The place they'd spent their senior graduation, the last day of their high school career.

Jaehyun grabbed his bag from the back seat and got out without saying anything to him and Doyoung could do absolutely nothing but follow his lead.

They stood at the edge of the water, bag propped up on a log close by. Neither of them said anything. That was, until, "I've been thinking about what you said," Jaehyun murmured softly, looking down at the water gracing the tips of their feet. "Is everything you said true?" That part was even quieter than the first.

Doyoung's face was numb as he nodded, unable to get the verbal confirmation out.

"Your feelings are completely returned, Doie."

Did he hear that correctly? Did...Jaehyun mean what he thought he meant? The smaller male turned his body the slightest bit to look at his best friend- and saw nothing but absolute love shining there.

"I realized it when I was watching movies with Johnny about...three months ago." Doyoung's mouth fell open in shock.

"You mean- you knew-"

"Yes, I knew my feelings before you said anything and refused to say anything. I didn't...think soulmates existed. But… I found a soulmate in my best friend," Jaehyun said softly, taking Doyoung's frames off his face and cleaning them with the hem of his button down shirt, eyes cast downwards. Then he brought them back up, locking their gazes together. "It's always been you. That's why it never felt right dating other girls. But I didn't know how you felt, so I never said anything."

"Jae," he sighed softly, emotions all over the place. "I never realized I had feelings for you either but...I think they've always been there. I'm scared," he admitted the last few words, barely audible over the sound of the waves in the distance.

"Scared of what, bunny?" That nickname was one he hadn't heard in years but it's one Jaehyun had called him when they were young.

"Scared of losing you. Losing our friendship. Fucking up what we have." He was laying his heart out on the table- it was only fair since his best friend was doing the same for him.

"We'll work it out slowly. That is…" his front teeth pulled in his bottom lip nervously, "if you want to. Not today, whenever you want. Take as much time as you need."

It sounded like he was about to have a nervous breakdown so Doyoung cut over him, "I'd love that, Jae."

Their gazes met again. Deep inhalations. Before Jae asked quietly, "can I kiss you?"

The confirmation wasn't audible. He knew it wasn't. But Jaehyun understood him. He always did.

Doyoung closed his eyes and waited. He didn't have to wait too long because then there were pillowy lips slowly brushing against his, taking his time to make sure that Doyoung was comfortable with it.

It's not that he hadn't been kissed before. He'd kissed a few boys in high school. But nothing could have prepared him for this. It was perfect, and emotional, and everything in between. The picture perfect definition of cliche.

Jaehyun's arms circled around his thin waist as he pulled away, resting his chin on top of his head and just. Breathed. No words could be said at that moment. All that mattered was each other's presence. And when they finally went back in the early hours of the morning, they fell asleep next to each other on the massive couch in Doyoung's living room.

Finished.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This was a commission for someone very dear to me and I hope all of you enjoy it. It's been in the works for about a month now and I'm pretty excited for it. If you would like a commission, please let me know! You can find me on Twitter at taeyongsjuul or just leave a comment down below!


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